Race car driver Jeff Gordon announced today that he was firing his entire pit crew. 

This announcement followed Gordon’s decision to take advantage of President Obama’s scheme to employ Harlem youngsters.  The decision to hire them was brought about by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from Harlem were able to remove a set of wheels in less than 6 seconds without proper equipment, whereas Gordon’s existing crew could only do it in 8 seconds with thousands of dollars worth of high tech equipment.

It was thought to be an excellent and bold move by Gordon’s management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits. However, Gordon got more than he bargained for.

At the crew’s first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and some photos of Jeff Gordon’s wife in the shower.

This just in…..Our local Empress’s unsolicited expanation of the thug uniform of baggy, to the knee shorts and knee socks….”They are gay and really want to wear the school girl uniform of knee skirt and knee socks…But, they can’t because then everyone would call them C&*% Suc%&#’s….Whew, and all along we thought the baggy pants deal was to conceal weapons..

Note:  Real Men wear their knives

and guns out in the open…