What to do on an airplane when you find yourself seated next to a real jerk: 1. Take out your laptop. 2. Slowly open your laptop. 3. Turn it on. 4. Make certain your neighbor is watching. 5. Open your internet browser. 6 Close your eyes for a few moments, open them and then look up to the sky, or the heavens if you will. 7. Breathe deeply and open this site: http://www.myit-media.de/the_end.html 8. Look at the expression on your neighbor’s face, whisper the word “Infidel”. 9. Be prepared for the consequences!

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